The Usual Suspect
by ofstardustandbruises
Summary: REWRITE IN PROGRESS. Cathy Savage never expected that she would be working with an idiot of a Captain, especially since he made her job as his advisor that much harder. As she would put, her job is "to keep that idiot out of as much trouble as possible." Kirk's response? His job is to make sure she has the time of her life.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone! I am rewriting this story—same characters, same OC, same relationship at the end, but with a different storyline. I wasn't feeling Cathy's profession, nor was I really ready to commit to an entire fic about getting Cathy and Jim through a war. School also got really difficult really fast, so I had to put this on hold, and when school got less hectic, I just wasn't into it, and another storyline was running through my head. I still think you'll like this one though!

She could not believe this idiot of a captain she had to work with. Here he was, strutting about the cell, acting as if he had some plan to get the two of them and the rest of the away team out of the clutches of the Romulans, though she had to admit that they didn't seem to be in any particular danger. The only problem with this was that they wouldn't have even _been_ in this mess if Captain James Tiberius Kirk would have just listened to her for once in his life!

"Okay, I think we'll be just fine. Scotty will find a way to beam us out of here–" he began.

"Just _fine_? We won't be just fine, Captain," she spluttered. "Why don't you ever think to listen to me? This is my job. I know what's best when dealing with other species and their cultures!"

"Lieutenant Savage! I am well aware that this is your job, but seeing as we're in this situation and you haven't offered any way to get us out of here, you're not really doing that great of a job," Kirk countered. She really, _really_ hated him. She especially hated his ice blue eyes. They were piercing straight through her skin, and she thought he could see how fast her heart was pounding with adrenaline. And it was no wonder Scotty called him 'Perfect Hair.' Not a single golden thread was out of place, and she looked like she hadn't taken a bath in days (which was true).

"That's because I've been thinking of a way to get none of us killed! I also have to try and preemptively counteract whatever stupid thing you'll do next, you know," she spat, crossing her arms. "Personally, I think you should try to fight their leader in hand to hand combat. Maybe she'll snap your neck so I don't have to do it myself and risk getting jail time!"

"Isn't someone getting feisty now, Savage? You know, it's honestly a _wonder_ you're single, since your personality is truly one of the best I've ever seen!" Kirk stopped in his tracks right in front of her. Of course, she immediately rose to challenge him, making eye contact with his Adam's apple. She was happy to note that it bobbed once in nervousness.

"Not getting feisty, Kirk," she snapped, jamming her finger in his chest. "Just really pissed that after six months of my time on the _Enterprise_ and over one hundred and fifty poorly beginning extraterrestrial interactions, and with only my help getting us out of almost all of them, you still haven't picked up on the fact that I definitely know what the hell I am doing. How does it feel knowing that nothing gets through that thick skull of yours? You're too busy banging aliens and worrying about what the admirals think about you to actually pay attention to the needs of your crew, who certainly don't need a heart attack every other day because their captain can't keep it together!"

"Watch it, Savage. Just because we're in a cell doesn't mean that I'm not still your captain." If only she was a little taller so she could strangle him…but then she grinned, and she saw his eyes widen just a little.

"Oh I am well aware, Captain. Everything is going in my report, and I sure as hell mean it this time."

"You wouldn't dare—"

"I'm writing the report in my head right now! _Idiot of a captain fucks everything up because he wanted to screw some alien chick who just so happened to be the leader of an evil Romulan science crew_ —"

"Ahh, this is all we need. Crassus, Ares, you may escort these two to the the transporter. Notify the _Enterprise_ that their captain and his advisor are unharmed and ready to be beamed back to their ship," the Romulan scientist spoke, silencing the two.

"Wait. What did you need?" Kirk asked, taking a small step away from his advisor.

"All we needed to know was what the effect of small spaces was on humans. You two have proven useful, but we do not need you anymore." With that explanation, the scientist left, the two crewmembers dumbstruck.

She didn't remember being escorted and beamed aboard the _Enterprise_ , but suddenly there was McCoy, hovering in between her and the Captain. She faintly heard murmurs of "Jim, what happened?" and "Cathy, are you listening to me?" and "Jim, what the hell is wrong with Cathy?"

But all she said was, "I'm starting on that report now, Captain, so if you'll excuse me please, I need to get on that."

Cathy Savage really hated Captain Kirk with all her heart.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I should have also mentioned that the name Cather was inspired by the Rainbow Rowell character Cather Avery from Fangirl, which is a very fun book about college and fanfiction, so it is very relevant to my life as I near the end of my college application process. I will try to post a chapter every 1-2 weeks until I am done with applications in mid-January, and after that, I'm going to keep to a one chapter every Saturday morning schedule.

It was ten hours later and Cathy still hadn't written up the report. Well, she wrote the bare bones of it, which basically said nothing happened, and it looked a lot like all the other reports she submitted. Honestly, it should have been really easy to just type up exactly what had happened and submit it, because not much had happened in the aftermath.

But that would mean that Kirk would be fired. And she didn't really feel like that would be the best situation for Kirk or herself to be in. She'd have to do all that paperwork over something as trivial as Kirk wanting to have a little fun…

"I mean, it was a Romulan woman, so what'd he expect? You really can't just walk up to those Romulans and expect that they'd be ready to just jump you," Cathy started typing on her Padd, her fingers clicking against the screen, the words seeming to appear even faster than she was typing. "I mean, does he even have a brain? I'll ask Leo tomorrow. People probably never expected him to think, because he has good looks, but he could at least _try_ to have some critical reasoning. I fear the day we meet the Klingons for the tenth time and he still hasn't learned."

Cathy's door beeped, and she yelled a _come in!_ secretly hoping it was Kirk, just so she could bash his head in with the Padd after she submitted the real report.

"Think of the devil, and he shall appear!" Cathy said, looking back down at her Padd after she saw the golden halo enter her quarters.

"Oh, so you were thinking of me?" Kirk asked, winking and smirking the way he did at all the women he spoke to. Cathy vowed that she would never be one of _his_ women.

"Only so that I could send the report in. A real one this time." She didn't even have to look up to know that Kirk was fidgeting with the ends of his uniform's sleeves, something he always did when he was agitated. Cathy unfortunately knew a lot about Kirk, like the way he snored when he slept (captured by Ferengi), how he never managed to pay attention when important things were being said (several meetings with admirals at Starfleet Headquarters), and how whenever he was about to get the entire ship in trouble, his eyes lit up a dangerous blue (because he looked at her every time he did something stupid, just to challenge her and tell her that his word was the last one).

"Please don't do that. You know I have so many strikes on my record, and this report could be the thing that gets me sent back to Iowa, and for good this time," his voice trembled, and Cathy honestly thought he was about to cry. "Please don't send that report in, Cather."

He knew she hated being called Cather.

"Sorry, _James_ , but your luck is up." And she sent the file to Starfleet, and he was crushed under her boot.

He hated her. He hated the way she looked so _smug_ because she sent in that report. It's like she didn't even care that he could get fired from the only thing that kept him alive. The _Enterprise_ was the only thing that made sure he was still breathing. She could say whatever the hell she wanted, but Jim knew that he cared deeply about his ship, and that included all the people on it.

Except for her.

He didn't know what he did that made her hate him so much. He had some idea, and that was that he didn't listen to her, but she didn't seem to understand the spirit of adventure. They were out in space to explore it and its inhabitants, not to avoid conflict wherever they went. They were supposed to live and die out in space, and Cather Savage apparently thought that was a bad idea. He was more careful these times. He did listen to her solutions when they were actually in trouble.

He wouldn't put his crew through as much danger as they had been in. He wouldn't die on them that soon. And that was because as soon as Lieutenant Commander Savage pushed that button and sent the report, he was fired. Spock would be captain in the morning, and as much as Spock liked Jim, he knew Spock liked Cathy's style of diplomacy much better.

Whatever Cathy Savage thought about Jim Kirk, she was dead wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

The Captain seemed to tiptoe around her after the incident. Cathy didn't mind this change; usually he was hanging around her like a puppy wanting attention, always trying to shove whatever good thing he had done in her face. He always tried to overcompensate for whatever mistake he had made that landed them in trouble, which she always got the two of them and the rest of the crew out of. And, to be honest, she didn't really care what he did that was good. She only cared when he got her into trouble.

Because if he was getting her into trouble, she could either die, or be fired.

And she had thought about the second option a lot.

Cathy stared out the window of her quarters, watching the stars in the distance slowly move by. _I can't get kicked off this ship_ , she thought, though really it was more of a wish. She saw one of the stars shoot across in the distance, even though she knew in the back of her mind that it was really a comet burning up and not a falling star. Cathy had pinned her hopes on the _Enterprise_ for many years now. She heard that the _Enterprise_ was being built when she was an underclassman in high school. She was graduating high school when she heard of the attack on Vulcan. And now, it was four years after that incident, three years into the five year mission, and six months since she had started her conditional internship on the _Enterprise_. Technically, she hadn't even graduated yet. If she made it another three months on the _Enterprise_ , and if Captain Kirk didn't get his third strike, then she'd get to stay on the _Enterprise_. Even though she didn't have many friends on the ship and she hated the Captain, she still loved this ship.

She just had to advise the Captain harder.

Then she'd be able to stay. _I'm not going back_ , Cathy thought, though it was really more of a promise.

* * *

Cathy was awoken by a banging on her door, frantic beeping as someone tried to get in. Cathy glanced at her clock: 0300 hours.

"Come in, Captain," she yelled, or at least she tried to. The door opened, and in stepped the Captain, hair pulled in all different directions, purpling bags under his eyes, but blurred at the edges, as if he was moving too fast. And he was.

"I sure hope that groaning was an invitation in your quarters. Did I wake you up, Lieutenant? I've been up for eighteen hours. I've had six coffees. All caffeinated. I think I can see colors right now," the Captain paced back and forth, his hands jittering. "Actually, I think I can hear colors. Or something. I'm not really sure. Anyway, I've been thinking about you the entire time and I think before I ask for your help on this one, I should apologize for not listening to you. Very much a mistake on my part. You always seem to know what to do. And I really don't know how, I mean you're...twenty-two, twenty-three? I'm not really sure. Hell, all I knew at twenty-two was how to get in fights and not get out of them, much less keep my face half as pretty as yours. I got my nose broken a lot of times. Probably why I can't smell right in one nostril."

Cathy's mouth was agape. She had never seen Kirk like this before. He said he was sorry, or at least that seemed to be his version of sorry. And he was the most hyper and agitated she had ever seen him, or even imagined anyone could be. She cleared her throat, but that didn't help her deep, rough morning voice at all.

"Excuse me, Captain, but why are you here?" With this question, he stopped, staring at her, a glint in his eyes.

"Now, Lieutenant, that is one sexy voice. Where've you been hiding that all this time?"

"It's my _I've been woken up unexpectedly by my insane Captain for a reason that hasn't yet been revealed to me_ voice. Now, Captain, why are you here?"

"Well, Cathy—can I call you Cathy? Anyway, I just found out that Starfleet wants us to meet with the Mordanites, and for the life of me, I can't remember who they are or what sort of manners to have with them. And I think you're just the person to help me with this," he moved closer to her, and Cathy did not move away, blaming her lethargy on a lack of sufficient sleep. "Can I sit down?"

"You can," Cathy began, yet got up from her bed, and walked over to her bookshelf. After a few seconds of searching, she found the book she was looking for. She rifled through its pages, her eyes very close to the pages, stretching out her hand towards him. "Can you hand me my glasses and a hair tie?"

She felt her glasses being placed in her hand, yet no hair tie. She turned and looked at the Captain, unfolding her glasses with a flick and quickly settling them on her nose. "My hair tie, if you _please_."

"I think I like you better with your hair down," Kirk whispered, as if suddenly realizing exactly where he was and what time it is.

Cathy sighed, but walked back over to the bed, sitting on the corner next to the Captain, pointing to the relevant passage. He scooted even closer to her, and she tried not to breathe in, because he had a natural musk that was truly intoxicating. He made her head spin.

"We haven't had much contact with the Mordanites yet, so I ask that you are on your best behavior and simply shadow what the leader of the Mordanites does. They are spacetravelers, so we won't have to worry too much about you breaking the Prime Directive. They are a fairly primal people in terms of their traditions: lots of rival families with their own heads, called peretors. And they cut themselves on the wrist with a knife after making important bargains, so you should expect to do that at the end of the meeting, but I think Leonard will be able to patch you up quickly after they leave."

"Leonard? Why do you call him Leonard?" Kirk snapped, violently propelling himself off the bed and towards the door. "I thought you hated doctors. Why do you call him Leonard and you call me Captain?"

"I don't hate doctors; I hate being sick and taking medicine," she spluttered. What was _with_ him? "And _Leonard_ gives me the respect I have deserved, since he says that the amount of injuries you have has significantly decreased since I've arrived on this ship. You _clearly_ have no idea of how important I am to your safety, the crew's safety, and this ship's safety. You _clearly_ don't respect the things I have done to avoid starting a hundred different wars between Starfleet and the races we've come across. You _clearly_ don't respect my sleep, my health, and the fact that I have spared Starfleet Command multiple descriptions of your most ridiculous antics. The report I just sent in? I said everything went perfectly. You may be an idiot, but you're the best damn captain I have ever met, but until you see me as someone who saves your ass every goddamn day, and more on top of that, then I'm going to be as formal and as distant as I want. Now get out. We'll talk more in the morning."

The door opened and the Captain walked out, but before he disappeared, he stuck his foot in the way of the door.

"Why did you lie on the report?"

Cathy snorted, a wry smile on her face as she stared into the brilliant blue eyes of the Captain. "Because, sir, my job is to keep you out of trouble, not get you into more."


End file.
